Dating Japanese Women: Where & How to Meet Women in Japan
Dating brings so much joy, but at the same time, it can give a migraine. Especially if you are a French man in Japan trying to ask a Japanese woman out without any knowledge of Japanese…
But let’s not skip to the awkward part right away. Today, I want to focus on the peculiarities of dating in Japan as a foreigner. And I have so much to tell, so let’s roll!
TheTravellingFrenchMan’s Notes
- Don’t waste your time on unknown sites and free dating services, as they have many scammers and fake profiles. Choose reputable sites—from my experience, the best Japanese dating site is SakuraDate.
- Offline dating can be effective but requires spending on flights, accommodations, dates, and entertainment. If you choose this option, explore Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto, as they have the most beautiful single ladies.
- Searching for a Japanese date on Instagram or Facebook might work, but it’s less effective. Use location search and be ready to spend much time scrolling through thousands of profiles.
- Japanese ladies not only look 20 when they are 50, but they also are long-lived. So, no worries that you’ll be a lonely grandpa.
- The ultimate way to win the heart of the Japanese lady is to notice little things and convert them into meaningful presents. Japanese women value such kind of attention, and that’s your way to show that you care.
3 interesting facts about Japanese women
First, I want to tell you that I’ve been traveling around the world for over a decade now and have seen so many attractive women. We all know I’m a sucker for hot girls, but what a normal guy is not?
But Japanese women excite me so much with their stunning appearance, figures, and unique fleur around them. But being in the country for quite a while, I collected a few interesting facts that are not usually known by the wider audience.
The unique sense of style: Harajuku, Gyaru, Lolita, and Kawaii
Japanese women tend to showcase their stunning beauty and figures in many avant-garde ways. Walking the streets of the Harajuku district I was amazed by street fashion, the number of bright colors, and individual styles.
Some of the Japanese girls looked like real-life dolls, it was hard not to stare all the time.
Japanese men are also doing their part. There are many well-dressed guys, and I’m not talking about tuxes.
It’s highly possible that your Japanese girlfriend will outlive you
Japanese women have one of the world’s highest life expectancies. According to the report, Japanese women have one of the greatest life expectancies in the world, at 87.3 years. This is 2 years more than French ladies and 7 years more than average for American women.
I bet that the key to the longevity of life is the Japanese diet, which is rich in fish and vegetables. I think that’s the secret to why Japanese women usually look 20+ years younger than their actual age.
Single Japanese women buy 50% of the chocolate sold in the country
And no, they don’t have an extremely sweet tooth. It’s because of the unique tradition of Valentine’s Day, where Japanese girls gift chocolates to men, including friends, family members, and coworkers.
A cool tradition, you know 😉. Yet, I prefer to wove women and not the other way around.
How to meet a Japanese woman?
Now that you know a few interesting facts about Japanese ladies, let’s concentrate more on how to meet Japanese women, let’s say, an American man or any foreigner for that matter.
#1. Online dating sites & apps
The number one way that I got recommended over and over by Japanese people I was pleased to talk to was online dating sites. And I wasn’t surprised, as over 366 million in the world choose online as their go-to for searching for dates.
In Japan, you can really feel the influence of online dating trends, as people are working crazy hours, and some are even isolating themselves at home… and how to date then?
That’s why a leading Japanese dating site is the most convenient way to meet Japanese women who are open to international relationships. And at least those who can speak some decent English.
Oh, by the way, my friend Aoto told me about practices known as “nakodo,” meaning a mediator, and “miai kekkon”—matching marriage. Matchmaking Japanese dating sites are extremely popular in the country, and he met his wife this way, and I didn’t hear his complaints.
The closest thing a foreign guy can experience is mail order bride sites, aka platforms with foreign women who are looking for a marriage partner. It’s like a matchmaker 2.0. Don’t confuse those with an international dating app or site, as their users are interested not just in serious relationships but also in casual dating or long-distance romance.
Here are a few examples of sites where you can meet Japanese women and Japanese guys.
1. SakuraDate
Best for:
Finding the best matches fast
What I can say about it:
One of the best Japanese dating sites with a niche specialization that is suitable for various types of relationships. There is everything to meet new friends or an ideal match. Free membership has many basic services, but users need a paid subscription to enjoy communication. However, there is no monthly fee, as chat, as well as all main features, work on a pay-to-use basis with credits.
More Information
SakuraDate
Gender ratio:
59%
41%
2. EasternHoneys
Best for:
Chatting with many Japanese women
What I can say about it:
EasternHoneys is a niche platform with a variety of communication ways and thousands of active users, including Japanese singles. Signing up is free, as well as enjoying the free membership. Still, to get access to chatting and exchanging photos and videos, members need to pay. However, the gender ratio of 80% of women to 20% is in men’s favor.
More Information
EasternHoneys
Gender ratio:
55%
45%
3. TheLuckyDate
Best for:
Fast search for a compatible Japanese woman
What I can say about it:
This international site looks like a dating app with its user-friendly interface and smooth navigation. Members have everything for searching and chatting, but the only thing—there are not just Japanese singles but also guys and girls from all over the world.
More Information
TheLuckyDate
Gender ratio:
58%
42%
4. OrchidRomance
Best for:
Sending love letters to the opposite sex members
What I can say about it:
Sleek design, multiple communication ways, and detailed profiles of Japanese men and women make OrchidRomance a good option among Japanese dating sites. There is no video chat, but the Newsfeed feature works like social media and allows you to meet the most active users.
More Information
OrchidRomance
Gender ratio:
38%
62%
Visits/Month:
1.2M
#2. Traveling to Japan
This wouldn’t be my blog if I missed a chance to talk about traveling. If I had a wife, I think she would call traveling my mistress.
But going back to looking for an ideal partner in Japan, visiting the country is also a good option to consider. However, it’s not for everyone considering the price of flights and expenses. For example, let’s say even $2,000 wouldn’t be enough to stay in Tokyo comfortably for a month.
Oh, and don’t think that 3 days is enough to explore Japanese culture and fall in love with a Japanese girl or guy.
So, I’d recommend going for a good online dating service like those dating sites I’ve mentioned above if you don’t have money and time to spare for a full-on trip to the Country of the Rising Sun.
#3. Social media apps
Social media platforms can also be your chance to connect to Japanese society, but I don’t think it’s a smart move if you are interested in serious relationships.
Instagram page is not a dating profile, and it doesn’t help to learn about a person’s dating goals. And not all Japanese people use location hashtags, so it’s easy to confuse them with non-Japanese girls and guys.
When I studied to be a dating coach, I researched a lot on what makes or breaks couples the most. And to my surprise is not physical incompatibility in bed, but not being on the same page.
Also, many ladies don’t check out their incoming DMs and don’t believe that a foreign guy claiming he has a serious relationship will actually visit Japan.
#4. Marriage agencies & brokers
As I’ve already mentioned, the tradition of matchmaking is popular and common in Japan. People use it to meet traditional Japanese women or men, usually, people who are interested in potential matches for marriage.
Their biggest downside is that they typically have quite a limited pool of ladies to choose from, and the majority have dragon fees. However, I think that in some cases, matchmakers are quite effective if it’s a legit matchmaking service that picks potential matches for their clients based on psychological compatibility.
But I still would bet on a niche online dating service more for any type of relationship, as it’s easier, cheaper, and therefore more accessible.
Do’s and don’ts of dating a woman from Japan
When I was in Kyoto I met a nice guy who was a colleague of my ex-pat friends who have been living in Japan on and off for probably 10 years now. This guy was a translator and spoke fluent German as well as a bit of English, so I did my best to have a proper conversation with him. However, he laughed at my pronunciation several times (thank God, I didn’t offend anyone this time).
I showered him with a ton of questions, and the majority of them were about what a person looking for a Japanese woman should and shouldn’t do. That’s how I collected this section of main do’s and don’ts, aka things to know when dating a Japanese woman.
So, here we go!
Do’s
- Start talking first and learn some basic phrases
- Show respect to Japan and local customs
- Offer to pay for the date
- Respect her boundaries and take things slow
- No PDA in public
Don’ts
- Don’t talk only about yourself
- Don’t be late or cancel plans last minute
- Don’t make assumptions based on Japanese stereotypes
- Don’t compare everything to Western culture, it gets pretty annoying
- Don’t be wishy-washy about your intentions
Challenges in dating Japanese ladies
During my time in Japan, I collected so much information and stories of real Japanese, but I’ve also been on a date, which I don’t regret but I was low-key embarrassed. Let’s say things didn’t exactly go as I planned…
Language barriers
I want to start a section on Japanese dating challenges with the language barrier. I consider myself quite intelligent and speak two languages, as well as know a bit of German. But I don’t speak Japanese, as well as any other Asian language. I wish I could, but my brain is just not made for it. The best thing I could do was to use Google Translate in chat, and that got me into trouble.
I met this Japanese woman on one of the local sites and used a translator in chat, so I got quite confident to ask her on a date. I thought that I would find a common language somehow. It should not be that hard, right?
At first, everything was fine. We went to the cozy cafe shop and ordered something. But then it came, awkward silence when a minute seemed to be an eternity. My date had a very low level of English, and her extent made it hard to understand her at all. The poor girl repeated the same things to me a few times, and I only got embraced.
If only I could learn Japanese…
Cultural differences
Western and Japanese dating cultures have similarities, but Japan is still quite traditional and direct approach, which is common in the West, just doesn’t work here.
What I noticed—cultural nuances can get pretty serious, as it’s easy to offend a new person if you don’t know customs or small traditions. And Japan is full of meaningful little things.
Tips for a successful relationship with a Japanese woman
But don’t think that you don’t have a chance to get that perfect match in Japan. Many younger girls and guys are pretty open-minded.
To help you out, I want to share some tips on helping your relationship with a beautiful Japanese woman to blossom and not fade.
- Respect her culture and educate yourself at least on basic customs and traditions.
- Talk. Communication is key to avoiding conflict snowballing.
- Take the lead—every success story I’ve heard had a man who was “moving” the relationship in the right direction. It’s also a great way to show that you care.
- Make small cute gifts. Japanese girls are all about romantic gestures.
- Learn to be tolerant and willing to compromise—it’s actually key to all international relationships.
As you can see, these tips are not hard to follow, but they can really boost your chances with a Japanese girlfriend.
Final thoughts
Are Japanese dating easy? No. But no relationship is. As they say, “Le plus grand risque en amour, c’est de ne pas en prendre,” which translates to “The greatest risk in love is not taking one.”
And if you are still wondering where to look for Japanese singles, go for a legit dating service to save time and resources.
FAQ about dating Japanese women
What is the best Japanese dating site?
EasternHoneys is the best site for those who like to chat in different ways, and AmourMeet will be a good option for people who like interactive matching.
Do Japanese women like Western men?
Yes and no. Everything depends on a woman. A lot of Japanese women are into Western guys as they are different from Japanese men, but frankly, the majority choose locals.
Will you experience any language barrier with a Japanese woman?
Yes. But it also depends a lot on who you’ll date. Younger Japanese girls generally have better English than women over 40-50.
